Going on Day 5 (the no yelling experiment)

By day three, the kids hadn't even noticed that I hadn't yelled at them for 3 days. They were still acting terrible though and I had to muster all my patience and strength not to just blow my top and scream at the top of my lungs. I know yelling doesn't solve anything but damn it would feel good to just get it out of my lungs!

So, so far, no yelling. Day 5 is going well.

Last night I had very little sleep and weird dreams when I did sleep. Just kid of long drawn out dreams that involved me being in high school and being late and having a cut above my right eye brow and the counselor making kind of a big deal and me basically skipping all my classes and just kind of hiding out. What the heck?!?!

Oops, forgot to blog

So yeh, this is what usually happens at the end of a long streak of blogging. I stop. You heard it here first.

I had a job up until December 31. Now I'm a stay at home mom again. I was a stay at home mom for 4 years after I had my twins. I did kinda miss it but now I can say that I'm kinda bored only after 2 days. Seriously, you can only sweep, clean toilets and wash clothes so many times in a day. What do you think?

Anyway, today I hung out with my Mama and it was a good day. She is leaving me on Thursday to go back home after being on holiday for a month. I will surely miss her. I don't want her to leave!

WAH!!!

January First Twenty-Eleven

Oh yeh! It's the new year! I am one of those optimists who always believes that the new year is a time for fresh new beginnings. I'm also one of those people who has a list about 10000 miles long of all the things I want to do in the new year and I am one of those people who accomplish only about 2 of the things I set out to do... NOT THIS YEAR! I have a more manageable list this year....

take a picture everyday
be kind
smile
love some more
love myself more
read again
enjoy time to myself

I think I can swing those.

Gift: Reverb10

December 30 – Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

I got the gift of my faith back... God is good. God is good ALL THE TIME!

Gift: Reverb10

December 30 – Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

I got the gift of my faith back... God is good. God is good ALL THE TIME!

Defining Moment: Reverb10

December 29 – Defining Moment Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

I got laid off from my job and I decided that there was nothing I could do about and I needed time to be angry and hurt and then I would move on when I was done with it... I can't really decide how that all played out though. It was almost like it played me out...

Photo: Reverb10

Prompt: Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.


This was taken at my church on July 18, 2010. It was the day I preached my very first sermon ever. My sermon was about Martha and Mary... The Kid Sister took this picture. God took over my life in 2010. He was everywhere I needed to be. But this picture isn't about that. This picture is about the smile that my daughter has on her face. She was so proud of me that day and all I ever want to do is to keep those kinds of smiles on their faces... I have done a good job as a mother. My kids feel empathy, sympathy, happiness and pride for other people and that was my goal. To make them feel for others... I love this picture. It is what my whole year was about...

Everything's OK: Reverb10

Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

A lot of these prompts make me sound like a weirdo Jesus Freak. But seriously, I have proof every morning that everything is going to be alright. God walks with me and I know that I don't have to fear anything. I am in constant prayer and it seems to help me in and around those times where I can begin to feel myself questioning my situation. God is with me. He moves in mysterious ways. It may not always be what I want but it's what God wants for me.

New Name: Reverb10

Prompt: New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

I like my name. It's the name my mama gave me and I like it! I do remember though that for a spell, I wanted to be named Sara because I like Hall and Oates. Don't hate!

Future Self:Reverb10

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

In 5 years, I will be 42 years old going on 43 in a few days... I may or may not be in the throes of a mid life crisis... I hope to be happy and healthy and what not.

Dear Amy: Your 2010 was great and awful at the same time... It was a good year though and next year is going to be a banner year...

Breathe... Just breathe. Everything is going to be okay. God is always with you and He will NOT let you get lost. Enjoy your year sabbatical. Enjoy your children because you are not going to be able to get this time back...

Take care of yourself and try to be better about your sweet tooth...

Love you, Amy

Avoidance: Reverb10

Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

I should have started exercising on a regular basis... I didn't do it because I was lazy mostly. I am lazy but I should be. I just can't help it. I don't like to exercise. AND I like food. What can I say?

In addition to being lazy, I was also really really busy this year. But I'm going to be not so busy in 2011, I think. I mean, I won't have a jobby job so that will give me at least 40 hours a week to do something productive with the exercise and the diabetes thang!

Try: Reverb10

December 18 – Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

I still want to try knitting. I have been wanting to do it for so long and this year I had a chance to but then something happened and I didn't get a chance to learn or do it when I wanted to do it. I'm determined to do "caps of caring" where you knit beanie type caps for cancer patients who are losing their hair. I'm going to do it... I'm going to do it!

Friendship: Reverb10

December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

I have a friend who is AWESOME! She's a new friend. I met her in 2009 but I really got to know her in 2010. She is responsible for changing my outlook on the women of Danville. She is the kind of person I always wanted to meet in this town and unfortunately I didn't meet until now. Don't get me wrong, I have met other great people in Danville but meeting Mickie just made me really happy and made me feel comfortable in my own skin in my town. It all happened in a sudden burst and I thank God that I met her. She's a great person and I know that if I need her, she's got my back.

WORD!

Action: Reverb10

December 13 – Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

Finish up my CLP classes, get commissioned in June and work within my community to spread the Good News and bring a spiritual home to the marginalized...

That's the plan...

Beautifully Different: Reverb10

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I am different, just like everyone else! What makes me different? I don't really know how to answer that question because if I say I'm a great person it kinda sounds like I'm giving myself a whole lot of credit that I may or may not deserve.

I like to think I live my life as an honest mother of twins. I'm not one of those moms who gushes over every little thing my children do. I just don't. There are things that I expect and things that I don't want to see and they pretty much, for the most part, do it. I'm don't overly baby them or talk to them in a way that dumbs them down. We have NEVER talked baby talk to our children and most of all, when they ask us questions, no matter what they are, I have always tried to be as honest with my answers as I can be. Even if that means that I have to use words that they might not quite know yet. I just add it to their words to look up.

I am generous. I will give until I bleed. This is a lesson my children are learning. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I smile and try to talk to everyone... I even pause when I ask someone how they are doing because if I asked, I honestly want to know. It's not just a passing greeting for me.

I have a opinions and I am not afraid to share them. I don't condemn or convert.

I think that is all... I'm beautifully different.

One Word... (Reverb10 first post)

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 = reaffirming

I found my faith again in 2010. It was not behind the couch. It was actually found in a 2nd floor office on Patrick Ave. in Hayward, CA. I was talking to my friend and pastor and I realized that I have been called to do something very special in my life. I realized that if I didn't answer this call, the time may come where I would stop hearing my name... I answered the call and here I am, maybe not necessarily where I want to be but definitely where God wants me to be...

The word for 2011 at this time, I hope that it's going to be: consumed

The Girl Who Fell To Earth

I am not a saint. I have never claimed to be. I have never tried to be. I am just a girl who grew up and turned into a woman one day.

Who am I? I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a misfit, a friend and many other things. There have been times in my life when I have been very, very bad. And then of course there have been times in my life when I have been very, very good. I'm in the very, very good times right now. Don't know how long that will last. Hopefully from here on out.

I am practicing and learning to be a pastor. I found my faith again recently and like all new to the faith Christians, I practice and I am really super enthused about spreading the Good News. But the thing is, I don't believe that God has separated us into loved and unloved. I believe that God loves us all... Equally. Yes, all of us. I believe that no one can condemn anyone else to "hell" or to any other horrible place. That is solely the job of my Father. So chill.... He'll take care of it all. So yes, I am a Jesus Freak but not one of those weirdo ones that you have be afraid of.

I have found family in my friends. That is not to say that I don't have a great family. I do. But my family is more than just those who I am blood related to. The Twinkles and the Husb are my blanket of love and security. Please don't fuck with it. My Mama and the Kid Sister are just as important and protected. Don't fuck with that either. I know, I know cursing doesn't make me very pastoresque.

Well, I'm no saint.